5 Ways to Catch Adultery, Without Becoming a Stalker.

relationships fail because of infidelity.

It is painful to admit you suspect your partner adultery. Removing doubt about cheating is essential if you want your relationship to last. Unless you are involved with an out and out sociopath, your partner will exhibit guilt when doing something that could hurt you. Know if you are overreacting due to your own insecurities, or if there is cause for alarm. Below are steps you can follow if you fear partner may be involved with someone else.

1.Ask if you satisfy them erotically

Sound forward? Even if it seriously challenges your comfort zone, mutually satisfying sex is essential to successful relationships. Is your relationship still so new that you haven’t taken that step yet? Then, talk about that possibility. When erotically involved with someone else, they will probably act defensive. If they are only thinking about it, you can bring their thoughts back to you.

2. Be observant and curious

Relationships are based on sharing and trust. If your partner is committed, they shouldn’t mind telling you who was on the phone. If you are married or living together and have common accounts, you should also have access to statements. Even if your significant other is the financial ‘mastermind’, you have the right to know. Unusual telephone activity or credit card charges can alert you to an affair brewing.

3. Investigate clues before confrontation about adultery

The cliché phone number written in lipstick is less common than movies would have us think. But a number scribbled on a cocktail napkin, or a receipt from a restaurant/hotel you haven’t been to can alert you. If you find something follow it up. If it is a phone number, call pretending to confirm a delivery order. Claim you can’t read the name or address and see what they tell you. If it is a receipt, look at the date/time stamp on it. Think about where your partner told you they were then.

4. Observe their browsing and mobile habits

They suddenly spend more time on line or texting: find reasons to pass by doing chores or bring them something to eat or drink. They make efforts to hide what they are doing: e.g. if they cover their phone or minimize whatever they were looking at on their laptop, they may be up to something. Cheaters get agitated because they have a guilty conscience. That is very different from being excited about planning your surprise vacation.

5. Monitor their online activity

When you both use a device, it isn’t difficult to check the browser history. If your partner is tech savvy and clears the browser history and downloads/temporary files, that can alert you to activity they don’t want you to see. Key logger software can reveal their activity. You don’t need access to their devices, use a professional service. They can find active accounts on dating/hookup sites or platforms with just a name and email address.


  • Do you believe the relationship has a realistic future?
  • Do you sense the relationship is at risk?
  • Are you willing to work at saving it?

If you answered yes to any or all of those questions, then it is time to take action. Engage your partner in actively building the foundations of a solid relationship, together. Or, accept the fact that you may be expecting more from the relationship than your partner is emotionally willing or able to give. Relationships require both partners’ participation. If it doesn’t work out that is not your individual failure or responsibility. You have the right and responsibility to protect yourself from heartache. Create the loving and honest relationship you deserve.


The Truth About Infidelity: what defines a cheater.

Does thinking about being with someone other than your partner constitute adultery?

It may bruise our pride to learn that our partner has had a fantasy or an erotic dream about somebody else. We should be honest with ourselves though and admit that it is natural to admire what we have been raised to believe is beautiful or desirable. If our boyfriend / girlfriend / husband or wife has been daring enough to tell us about it, we are very lucky because that signifies trust.  So, if I want to really invest in my relationship, my top priority should be getting to know my partner and what “rocks their world”: visually, sensually and emotionally.

Humans are curious: when we see an attractive person, a part of our brain is probably wondering… “What would they be like in bed?”

There is a vast distance between imagination and action.  My first boyfriend got jealous because I didn’t turn my head away in the cinema when Tom Cruise danced around in his skivvies on screen in the film Risky Business. The irony is that I didn’t even find Mr. Cruise attractive, I just thought it was a funny scene (heck I’ve danced around in my unmentionables when I was home alone, just not to the same track 😃). For my boyfriend though it was grounds enough to spoil the whole evening. Later I found out he was oversensitive because just that week Mr. “Holier than Thou” had done the horizontal bop with a girl I knew.

When do we cross the line to become a cheater?

When both partners have CLEARLY stated that the connection they have is exclusive, with or without the exchange of jewelry or the signing of legal documents, then it could be said that their bond has been breached if one or the other has engaged in erotic activity (real, not imaginary) with another person. If they are only at the chatting stage, then you still have home court advantage! Start telling and showing them how into them you are, the chat room won’t seem interesting anymore.

What constitutes erotic activity?

This is a tricky question. I would like to propose a different question: Where did you stop, because you realize that the connection you have with your partner is more important than an ego boost or a fling? A look can be erotic, a touch (even on the elbow), your body language can be erotic… A kiss, particularly if you’ve had a couple of drinks, can seem sublime – until you realize you aren’t kissing the one who really makes your heart sing.

How can I keep my partner faithful?

We all want to feel sexy, desirable and loved: the more you show your partner that he or she is all those things to you, the less receptive they will be to those signals from others to become unfaithful. For most guys, there is nothing more attractive than someone who “idolizes” them. If they are facing stress at work or pressures at home, they will be especially susceptible to the charms of a “Neverland” encounter – a situation that can magically transport them, however briefly to a place where the stress and pressure don’t exist. For most women, there are two highly attractive escapes: the “rebel” and the “good cause”. In the first instance, it is the feeling of being pursued and swept off her feet that is so exciting. In the second, the sense of really being needed by someone who seems “eternally grateful” can be irresistible.

The biggest challenge in any long-term relationship is remembering that it all started because you really dug each other.

Even when the scourge of every-day existence settles over us and routine seems to be numbing our senses, the two people that started the relationship are still there somewhere. Don’t forget those two who felt happier together than they did apart: dig them out of the avalanche of bills and deadlines and family obligations once in a while and let them have some fun! Squeeze your partner’s hand or their tush when no one is looking just to remind them, and yourself, “Hey, I think you are kinda cute!” Responsibility needs a release valve. The more that you and your partner can be that valve for each other, the less likely either of you are to be led astray.

Love is scary.

If love were easy people would not need drugs or psychiatrists or energy drinks. We would all be high on life 24/7. The key is meaningful connection. Part of growing up is realizing that life is better when you have someone to share it with. Someone who is willing to put up with your silly jokes, your bad moods and your bad hair days. Love is finding someone who loves you, despite and because of who you are, without pretending!

Roll up your sleeve and break out the honesty. Take a chance on love!

Why I developed the online infidelity search tool iFindCheaters.com

Infidelity broke my heart. when I discovered my partner was cheating, I thought “There has to be a way to protect ourselves from deception.”

I had suspicions she was a cheater, but I didn’t want to believe it.

The harsh reality was that my wife was having an affair. After the shock wore off I started wondering: how could I have prevented it? How could I have understood that she was being tempted to cheat? The answer was right in front of my nose – technology!

Technology has made a lot of things easier, including online dating and online cheating.

The same technology that brings people together can also tear them apart. I wanted to create an electronic watch dog that could “sniff out” and find cheaters, people who claim to be looking for “serious” relationships on some sites, and are seeking hook-ups or “booty calls” on others. People who claim to be single and looking for love, but are married and looking for “recreational” sex, don’t realize the harm and hurt they can cause their “playmates”.

considering an intimate relationship? you have the right to find out about multiple or hidden dating profiles.

Sure, you can ask them, and good honest people will say “Yeah, I’ve signed up for a few different platforms to see what is going on out there.” The “trophy hunters”, serial cheaters and scammers though are never going to disclose their activities. I wanted to give people who had been out of the “dating game” for a long time, the recently divorced or widowed, a way to protect themselves from emotional and sexual predators.

our service now monitors more than 50 dating platforms and mobile dating apps and the list is growing daily!

When iFindCheaters.com made its humble debut, we had the capability to scan 18 dating networks for active accounts. We have come a long way in less than a year! This means that now, within a few minutes, you can have a comprehensive list of your partner’s online dating profile. Even if you have just met someone, this online dating search tool allows you to know a lot more about that person, empowering you to make smarter decisions and protect yourself from heartache.

we offer expert advice about how to recognize the signs your partner might be involved online.

At iFindCheaters.com we want to see relationships work and you can act before it is too late. Keep an eye on our blog for informative articles and we are producing a series of e-books that will give more in-depth information about important relationship issues. We also have many other exciting applications in development for home and personal security, child monitoring, and many other purposes. Our mission is to anticipate ways in which our technology can protect you and improve your life!

Thank you for your interest!

Raf & the iFindCheaters.com Support Team